I had a bit of a revelation as I was falling asleep. Well, two actually. One profound, the other not as much.
First thought. I was feeling a bit down that my birthday had not been what I hoped it would be. Sure, I got a couple phone calls and texts and lots of posts on my Facebook, and even some well wishes on my blog. I feel blessed and loved for that, and I appreciate every single person who made the effort. At the same time though, I missed being able to celebrate with my friends or have my family around. I loved being able to spend the day with my mom and have breakfast with her and my grandma. I still had a bit of a pity party, in spite of all that.
As I was falling asleep last night, reflecting on my day, a Hannah Montana song popped in my head…because really, what good life lesson doesn’t come from the Disney Channel? 😉 Seriously though, the whole idea of “life’s what you make it” seemed so fitting. I had a kind of crappy birthday but I let myself be in a lousy mood. Rather than enjoy the time I had with my mom and grandma, I let myself dwell on the people that weren’t around, rather than enjoy the company of those that were. I think, in many respects, I made my day what it was. I didn’t enjoy it as I should have.
Carpe diem. Seize the day. I love love love that idea. One of the reasons that I have a hard time with my birthday is that it is just a couple days after the anniversary of a friend’s unexpected death, so it always brings back those memories. In my moment of profoundness last night, I realized that he wouldn’t want me to be sad for him, to let that event seven years ago affect my birthday now. Of course, I’ll always remember him and miss him, but birthdays are about celebrating life and I want to live my life to the fullest. I know he would want that for me, too. If nothing else, it is a reminder that life is a precious gift and I need to make the most of each day that I have.
Second, not nearly as deep or important though. I realized that I really do not live in the greatest neighborhood for early morning/pre-sunrise runs. I had planned to get up early again to get a couple miles in, but as I was lying there, I realized it may not be my brightest moment. I generally don’t linger around outside late into the evening, so why would I go running early in the morning? To be fair, nothing has ever happened to me, but that being said, I really don’t know that I want to take chances. Something I’ll definitely have to consider.
Since I’m now second guessing my morning runs, I was going to get up and do some yoga instead. My alarm was set for 6:02. I woke up at 6:58. Oops! I had just enough time to get ready and dash into the coffee shop for a really, really big soy caramel latte. Since I missed my chance this morning and I was feeling tight and kind of achy yesterday, so I’m going to the yoga class at the Y tonight instead.