my story.

my journey.

Most of my life, I struggled with my weight. I was always that little girl who never quite outgrew the baby fat. But, in the summer of 2006, I reached my all-time high weight. I was deeply unhappy with myself and the numbers on the scale multiplied that unhappiness. It showed. Although I knew I had been gaining weight, I truly didn’t realize how bad things had gotten until I saw myself in pictures from a Labor Day weekend trip to New York City. I didn’t like what I saw. I was ashamed and embarrassed at myself and where I gotten.

When I got on the scale a few days later, it read 233. I was crushed. I knew I had to make a change.  Later that same month, I started Weight Watchers with Nicki, one of my sisters.   She had been encouraging me to join for awhile, but I hadn’t been ready, I suppose.  The pictures from that trip were my healthy tipping point, to borrow the phrase from the lovely Caitlin.

I didn’t know really what I was getting myself into or if I could even do it.  Yet slowly, but surely, the weight came off.  I wasn’t where I wanted, yet, but it was progress.

I found a self-confidence I hadn’t had before.  Although I hadn’t realized how heavy I had gotten, I still didn’t believe in myself.  I was highly guilty of comparing myself to those around me who I saw as skinny or more beautiful or whatever other adjective you could throw in.   Suddenly, I didn’t have to hide behind the weight anymore.  For the first time, I started to see myself as a strong, beautiful woman.

I had great success losing about 85 pounds over the course of about 2 1/2 years.  At that lowest weight, I felt like such a different person that who I had been as the former “fat girl”.  I found more joy in life, I had more energy, I was all around a happier version of the person I had been before.

In March 2009, I started working full time while  attending grad school as a full-time student.  The stress of that schedule lead to gaining some of the weight back (about 25 pounds over the course of a year – a lot to put on in a relatively short amount of time).

I’m still much closer than I ever thought I’d be to a “normal” weight. There is so much of my journey I am proud to share. I used to adamantly hate running. On May 8, 2010, I crossed the finish line of a 25K (that’s me in the black!).

Before, I despised fruits and vegetable, living on a diet of mostly processed junk. Today, I love the farmer’s market and make an effort to buy foods with an ingredient list where I can pronounce everything . There used to be nothing I liked more than a juicy double cheeseburger (hold the lettuce, tomato, and onion, naturally). Now, I’m a vegetarian.

While there has been so much positive growth in my life, it has not all been so great. Over the course of the three years I did Weight Watchers, I developed an unhealthy obsession with numbers: weight, Point values, the size of my clothes, BMI, calories, you name it. If you could count it, you can be sure I was. I would weigh myself at least once a day, sometimes more. I knew that I couldn’t keep living that kind of life.

As of October 2011, I have about 30 pounds left to lose to reach the goal weight I set my sights on when this journey began. These days, rather than stressing myself out over the numbers, I am learning to focus on eating the right foods and listening to my body.  I still have weight loss goals, but now I know that I’ll get there in a truly healthy time and fashion. So now, rather than focusing on a number on the scale, I’m learning to focus on a healthy lifestyle: nutritious foods, exercise, the whole nine yards.

Learning is definitely the key word. I know I still have things t. Thanks to the inspiration of some other amazing healthy living bloggers, I decided to start my own blog. This is my journey. I can’t wait to see where it takes me next.  Maybe someday, I’ll reach that goal weight I set for myself all that time ago.  But, if I don’t, I am so proud of how far I’ve come.